1. Are you afraid to move forward in love? If so, what's holding you back?
2. Have you forgotten how to be vulnerable and allow a man into your heart?
3. Do you want to be loved and desired, but still have lingering doubts?
4. What have you done to block the love energy from knocking on your door?
5. Have you created a list of attributes you'd like your mate to have?
6. Can you picture yourself in a strong, committed, healthy relationship?
7. Do you still have trust issues after all these years?
8. Who do you want to date if you had the opportunity NOW?
9. Have you mentally prepared a blueprint of your soulmate?
10. When the moment arrives, will you be ready for love?
11. Is anger, resentment, worry, or fear holding you back from finding your soulmate?
12. Are you ready to heal from past hurt and disappointments?
13. Are you ready for a loving relationship? If so, what are you willing to invest?
14. Are you over 40 & feel as if you don't quite fit in the dating world anymore?
15. Have you been relentlessly manifesting the wrong men into your life?
Okay, it’s time to get REAL. If there’s even the slightest hesitation in moving forward following a breakup you still have healing to do. It's completely natural and appropriate to allow space to heal following an all-consuming breakup; the time-frame is unique and different for each individual. As with any loss you will go through the five stages of grief (1) Denial (2) Anger (3) Bargaining (4) Depression (5) Acceptance. You may go in and out of these various stages before you're ready to course your healing journey.
During the first stage denial and withdrawal sets in because you desperately attempt every strategy you can to salvage the broken relationship. You hope and pray it’s not over, that something miraculously happens to repair what has been severed.
In stage two the realization that it’s finally over occurs and you become angry with yourself, your ex, the situation, or even others that had nothing to do with the breakup. This emotion can be detrimentally paralyzing; however, it’s part of the natural grieving process nonetheless.
Bargaining is the point in which you take responsibility for everything that went wrong in the relationship and promise to do better, to be better, and do whatever you can to fix it. Please don’t fall into this self-sacrificing trap. Both parties involved bear the responsibility when a relationship ends.
Depression is a natural feeling when you’ve loss someone you love. There’s an unimaginable pain in your heart that won’t go away which creates a dark cloud of unhappiness. All you can do is think about your past relationship. The sadness may become so intense that you reconsider taking your ex back despite obvious signs the relationship has reached its end.
Acceptance is the very point in time you realize and accept the relationship is over. When you’re able to look into the mirror and accept the fact that you see one person standing there, one single person…and you’re happy with what you see…you’re accepting the face that it’s time to move on. You’re making great progress at this stage. Before you know it you’ll discover new healthy ways to be happy, finding new friends, starting a new job, getting into a new career, whatever your preference is! You’ve existed on this planet for a number of years without him, and just because he’s no longer there doesn’t mean life is over. Happiness is a choice!
Healing requires a complete willingness to look within, examining yourself in ways you ordinarily wouldn’t. Introspection is the best way to get clear about who you are, determine what character traits you need to eliminate, understand how you lost your way, regain self-control, reestablish boundaries, and create the person you want to be today. Don't get stuck in that moment in time when the dissolution happened; instead, confront your pain head-on allowing for whatever feelings emerge. Process the trauma in counseling (breakups can cause soul-trauma) and make sure you take care of your inner-self.
Sometimes women sabotage potential relationships because they’re not quite ready to invest the time, energy and commitment it takes to create a healthy relationship. Fear is the number one reason women sabotage potentially good partners. Fear of the unknown, fear of being hurt again, fear of not being taken seriously, fear of being loved again, fear of failure, fear of being completely vulnerable, fear of rejection, fear they’ll be treated in the same manner in which their ex treated them, and so on. But, in order for you to have a chance in love, you have to put aside every negative thought and feeling about the potentiality of finding love again and trust the process.
A common error in dating is projecting the actions from a previous partner onto your new partner. Obviously, all men are not alike. However, when you’ve been hurt in love, it’s a huge challenge to readily trust the actions of others. It takes time and patience to regain the strength and courage to believe in someone again. Fear can act as a protective shield to warn you of possible dangers ahead, so I suggest you try to balance this emotion so you’ll know when fear is absolutely justified and warranted. This ability will increase as you deconstruct the old dysfunctional person you became in relationship with the wrong person, and slowly embrace the supreme knowledge of who you really are…DIVINE.
So how do you heal? The old adage says, “Time heals all wounds.” This is true in most cases, but you have to seriously put in the soul-work needed to move forward and heal. Soul-work is the process of allowing yourself to come out of the superficial shadows which cloud your vision, and give yourself permission to gracefully evolve into wholeness. It’s a spiritual unveiling of our purest most essential self, a blueprint displaying the best attributes found within our divine self, our truest SELF. It’s a journey towards self-discovery and self-affirmation, not for the faint in heart. You must be courageous enough to accept what spirit reveals to you & about YOU! It’s the single most important journey you will ever take in your life; it’s well worth the cost. Are you ready for love?
